they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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