i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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