i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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