Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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