please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize