I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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