i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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