break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize