So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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