sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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