Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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