"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize