I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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