Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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