not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize