Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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