Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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  (510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem

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  (407): i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/l5fk
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  (805): View more from California

  you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.

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  (805): you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out. http://tfl.nu/ndw1
  Replies (50) Good night (1432) Bad night (18287)
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  (310): View more from California

  Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.

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  (310): Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention. http://tfl.nu/i2tc
  Replies (17) Good night (2658) Bad night (4257)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.

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  (636): At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him. http://tfl.nu/u9u9
  Replies (12) Good night (746) Bad night (2385) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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  (563): last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6ciq
  Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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  (303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college http://tfl.nu/bc9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2312) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

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  (949): Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you. http://tfl.nu/q3ie
  Replies (29) Good night (4996) Bad night (788)
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  (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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  (415): my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked http://tfl.nu/w9k0
  Replies (7) Good night (2558) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.

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  (607): You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were. http://tfl.nu/pdic
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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  (612): He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket. (1-651): It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm. http://tfl.nu/ei3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2178) Bad night (239)
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  (626): View more from California

  I reek of latex and grilled onions.

  (626): View more from California

  Mission accomplished.

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  (626): I reek of latex and grilled onions. (626): Mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/k1oy
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (305)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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  (502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (248)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.

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  (936): Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/qbmn
  Replies (6) Good night (500) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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  (502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5
  Replies (0) Good night (79) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt

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