You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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