I think im going to throw up on grandma
You smell like stripper and shame
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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