You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize