i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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