Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
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C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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