Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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