tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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