I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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