careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
tell me about the fingering
Randomize