If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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