Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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