I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize