Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize