I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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