Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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