Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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