I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize