if you like me you must not know who I am
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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