his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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