He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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