just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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