I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize