next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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