I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize