White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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