3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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