did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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