I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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