His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize