I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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