OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize