I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize