i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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